Some men have a hard time dealing with women who just want casual sex. Whether it is insecurity or slight sexism, a woman seeking casual sex is intimidating to a lot of guys.
A recent article on the subject was written in the Washington Post and caught my attention.
The author of this article expressed her disappointment in the dating scene, and how it is hard for her to meet someone in the dating pool that believes she just wants nothing but meaningless sex.
So the common misconception is that women want to be tied down to a relationship and actively seek out commitment, while men fear it.
Some women aren’t necessarily looking for a committed relationship, they’re looking for a good time, with a cool guy.
Let’s set the scene here: You’re out on the first date, you both are hitting it off pretty well, and you find out that she isn’t looking for anything serious.
How do you feel? How do you approach this? I’m going to touch on a few major points on why this shouldn’t discourage you.
There could be a few reasons why she isn’t interested in anything more serious. Let’s go over it.
She just got out of a serious relationship
If your new flame just got out of a long-term relationship, and is not looking for anything serious you’re probably asking yourself ‘why is she dating?’ She’s dating for that exact reason!
She’s been in a serious/long term relationship which means she is looking for a something light, and you’ve sparked her interest as someone who can provide that for her. This is an ideal situation, not something to be stressed over.
Why this shouldn’t discourage you
This is a great thing for both of you, for one she wants to allow herself some time to heal and figure out what she wants before jumping into anything.
The last thing you want to do is to jump into a committed relationship with someone who is still carrying baggage from the last one. Give her space, let her take her time, and enjoy you.
She just doesn’t want anything serious
Again, this is no reflection of you as a potential partner, she could be possibly vetting you to see if you are worthy of being her partner.
Or maybe she is very attracted to you, and finds you to be a great sexual partner but doesn’t want anything more. Either way, you shouldn’t stress it.
I always say, “do you” and this simply means live your life and don’t worry about expectations. Sometimes you will find the wildest and greatest adventures take place when you’re just doing you. This is just an authentic way to live.
She doesn’t have time for anything serious
Fresh out of University, we are faced with the harsh realities of life. One of those realities is the fact that you have to use this time to build something substantial of, and for, yourself.
Now this new lady in your life is the type of woman that wants to get a head start on her career, and build her empire.
That shouldn’t scare you away, it should be attractive that your new love interest is a driven woman who wants to be successful on her own terms, it is the 21st century, after all, this ain’t our grandparents’ generation of stay at home mothers.
They’re much more than that, women run their own businesses, manage Fortune 500 companies, and will quite possibly be the leader of the free world in the not so distance future.
Why you should look at this as an opportunity
This is a great opportunity, you allow her the time and space to get her work done. It comes off sexy, mature and un-smothering.
The worst thing to do in this situation is to push or try to force anything. She’s made it clear that her time is important to her and she’s sharing some of that with you.
If you play it cool, focus on your career and keep it light and fun you come off that much more like a better fit for her, even if she is non-monogamously seeing other people.
In all of these scenarios the best thing you can do in these situations is to go with the flow and provide her with the comfort and fun she is looking for with you when she is with you.
Don’t get to caught up in playing the mind games or doing things you think is going to win her affection for you and only you. The best way to swim in a current is to swim with it.
Go with the flow, keep your relationship light and fun and look out for what comes next as your relationship starts to evolve.