Connect with us

The Two Things That People Judge You On When First Meeting

The Two Things That People Judge You On When First Meeting

BY Staff

The Two Things That People Judge You On When First Meeting

Salesmen. We might hate them for their persistence, especially when we end up caving and buying 100 Shamwows or whatever is being sold.
But, the truth is that we get suckered into buying things we don’t need because these people have learned how to make a great first impression because they’ve learned to develop two things quickly: how to gain your trust and earn your respect.
Amy Cuddy, Harvard Business School Professor and author of the wildly popular book Presence, has discovered these thought patterns of first interactions during her studies along with fellow social psychologists Susan Fiske and Peter Glick.
They’ve found that from an evolutionary perspective, these thought patterns make total sense. When people first met a new person, their brain automatically goes into survival mode. In order to survive, people need to know two things about you quickly when first meeting you:

1. Can they respect you?

This dimension is referred to by social psychologists as competence. People need to know that you’re smart and talented. This stems from our days as cavemen when we needed to know that the people we surrounded ourselves also knew survival skills. The last person you want in your group is someone who doesn’t know how to build a fire but will eat up all your food.
When people first meet you, they will judge you based on your ability to command respect by proving your competence.

2. Can they trust you?

This trust dimension is referred to by social psychologists as warmth. This worked well during our days as cavemen too because people needed to quickly know if someone could be trusted or if the new person was going to kill them in their sleep and steal all their supplies.
The easiest way to convey trust to another human being is by projecting warmth.
Surprisingly enough, most people – especially in the world of business – assume that the most important dimension between the two is respect/competence, but they’re wrong. Trust/warmth are actually what people deem most valuable, and for that reason, many people don’t get the full benefits from their careers. Maybe they show amazing competence by putting in long hours and going above and beyond their job title, but they always skip work office happy hours and never socialize. This person likely won’t get as far ahead as the guy who attends social functions and shows people he’s worthy of trust.
Amy Cuddy sums it up simply, “If someone you’re trying to influence doesn’t trust you, you’re not going to get very far; in fact, you might even elicit suspicion because you come across as manipulative. A warm, trustworthy person who is also strong elicits admiration, but only after you’ve established trust does your strength become a gift rather than a threat.”
So, be sure to show people you’re smart, but more importantly, you’re a person worthy of trust.


  1. What do you find that you judge people on during first meetings?
  2. Do you believe that first impressions can be changed?
Continue Reading
Click to comment

You must be logged in to post a comment Login

Leave a Reply

More in Mindset

  • how to beat anxiety how to beat anxiety

    How To Overcome Fear: The Way To Change For The Better


    Are you the kind of guy that finds himself dealing with high levels of anxiety? Then...

  • just be yourself just be yourself

    Just Be Yourself: The Key To Crushing It In All Aspects Of Life


    You may have heard it before: just be yourself. People love to throw this phrase around,...

  • How To Live In The Moment And Find Happiness


    Too much thinking is a recipe for disaster in just about any situation in life. If...

  • positive attitude positive attitude

    A Positive Attitude: The Foundation Of Game And Life


    You may not think it matters, but the way you think can pretty much shape your...

  • beautiful-woman beautiful-woman

    Playing Hard To Get: A Tried And True Method For Attraction


    Wanting what we can’t have is a basic part of human psychology. It applies to just...

    To Top