It’s been said that relationships are impossible, and sometimes it may very well feel that way.
Relationships involve people. Whether it’s family, work, or love we deal with people.
Within the normal parameters of family, work, and love there are distinct differences in which we cope.
The family unit is made up of people who may love one another but not necessarily prefer one another.
It is possible to love your mother or siblings with all your heart and detest them at the same time.
Family members can inflict a great deal of pain, and oftentimes it’s intentional.
Your family will usually know you better than you know yourself while possibly dealing with a variety of side issues themselves.
These issues might involve jealousy, hatred, insecurity, or displaced aggression.
It is not uncommon for a family to take the knowledge you acquired over your lifetime, and use it against you when given the opportunity.
As daunting as they may be, they are family, we love them and find our time spent with them to be perfectly spaced and timed. Our moments of nostalgia are sometimes interrupted by repeated moments of angst.
We sometimes have the illusion that the people we work with are closer than they are. On occasion, one might veer into a happy hour or two over the work year.
On even rare occasion, you and a co-worker might get together on a Saturday, and you will immediately discover the awkwardness of the moment outside of the office.
The co-worker relationship is predicated on the idea of professional boundaries and obvious distrust. There are potential hazards we may encounter by disclosing too much or advancing too far.
Our apathy is covered by curiosity, but when someone leaves the company, we soon forget they were ever there.
At times, circumstances would create the mirage of discontent that oddly only lasted between 9am and 5pm.
There aren’t typically random tears associated with the departing of a co-worker because the job doesn’t allow time for it.
Soon after, another is moved into their space and their responsibilities. The emptiness you might think you feel is now filled once their training regimen has concluded.
The person you love was chosen, whether by fate, lust, or coincidence. Whatever the venue, you’ve grown to love the person you are with, and couldn’t possibly imagine your life without them.
Yet, even those moments of passion can soon turn into hours of torture and insanity.
True love would allow us to look past the inconveniences, and idiosyncrasies ever changing from day to day.
This is the game, these are the rules. The best of her and the worst of her are a package deal.
In the middle of your love battle, come unexpected moments where she may need you more than she has ever needed you before. How you respond to this event will forever determine the course of your relationship.
It’s 3:46 am in the morning, and the phone rings. Good news rarely calls between 11pm and 6am, and this would be no exception.
You both perk up wondering who it is that might be calling this late or early in the morning; depending on the night before.
She immediately see’s it’s her sister, answering with a swift hello. The greeting soon develops into heavy breathing and request for answers.
You are now on the edge of the bed, waiting for her to confirm what you already know, but to whom.
Her eyes are enveloped by tears and desperation; she just lost her dad.
How much you love her will be known over the next several months, or longer.
When your wife or significant other is going through a difficult time, she has expectations from you that she may or may not be able to properly communicate.
It is up to you to be a source of strength for her.
If you can withstand the difficult days in front of you, she will trust you with her life, and in return, you will trust her with yours.
There are five essential rules that every man should follow when his woman is going through a trial.
1. It’s Not Always About You
Whenever our women are down, we tend to ask her repeatedly if she is okay. What we really mean to say is, “are WE okay?”
Just because she wears a frown doesn’t mean that she is upset with you.
The mind of a woman is filled with a million topics all at once. You might just be at the bottom of the list.
2. She Will Talk When She Is Ready
If she doesn’t want to talk, don’t force the issue just so you will feel better. Give her space, perhaps sitting close enough for her to feel your support.
She needs you, but a woman processes her emotions differently than we do. Give her the time to work through things on her own.
Not only will she eventually talk, but she will appreciate your support.
3. Don’t Try To Solve The Problem
When a woman wants to talk about what she is feeling, she just needs you to listen.
A man’s nature is to try and solve the problem or even trivialize by associating the issue with how we would handle it.
She is more than capable of solving her own problems, she just wants to talk about it with you, and have you listen.
4. Free Her To Focus
Life doesn’t stop just because of our problems. She still must go to work, pay bills, take care of the children, take care of the home and be there for you.
If you really want to help her, free her schedule up to focus on what’s important. If she is grieving, take other things off her plate so that she may take the time she needs to heal.
5. Prepare Your Heart For Her
While she is grieving, you still have needs. Your needs may get in the way of being supportive and helping her through the process.
If you train your mind and prepare your heart in advance for her, then your disappointments will be few. Make yourself completely available to her.
If you make the decision to deny yourself, your disappointments will be minimal as you have no expectations.
A woman’s heart is an ever-increasing moving target.
Steady yourself to know her, understand her and love her without judgment.
If she trusts you, and trusts that she can depend on you, her heart will open immeasurably for you.