Relationship Advice: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly
Keeping your relationship healthy is sometimes hard to do on your own.
You may need relationship help, but finding the right advice is key. A lot of people like to think they know how to give relationship advice, when in reality they don’t really know what they’re talking about.
Getting love advice can sometimes be difficult, but for the sake of maintaining a healthy relationship, it doesn’t hurt to look around and gain perspective from others.
If you’re just getting into game, you may want to seek the advice of someone who’s been doing it for a while. There’s a good chance that they’ve been through the same stuff you have.
They can give you valuable advice mostly because they can empathize with whatever your struggles are. Good dating advice is hard to come by, and usually, experience trumps all else.
In general, you shouldn’t ask women for advice. It’s not that they don’t know how to navigate relationships. It’s that they don’t know what the best approach for a man is.[
Women can usually only see things from the woman’s perspective, and may not be all that much help. If you ask a woman for help, you may find that she’s really offering you relationship advice for women.
If you have relationship questions, be sure to ask someone who you can trust. They don’t always have to be older, but they should have more experience than you. It’s okay. Be humble. It’ll help in the long run.
Find A Mentor
If you’re getting into game for the first time, don’t do it alone. Find someone who is willing to mentor you. If you know someone who goes out regularly and does pretty well with women, then ask for help.
Game is most fun when you do it with someone else, and if someone has experience you’ll be winning twice because you’ll be having more fun and learning more.
There’s no reason to feel like you’re getting boxed out, or that your ego is threatened. It takes a confident person to ask for help, and soon you’ll be able to mentor someone too.
The best relationship advice comes from someone who’s been through it before. That goes for everything from the approach, to how to navigate a fight with your girlfriend.
Don’t Believe Everything You Hear
A lot of the time, guys like to dole out advice because it inflates their own egos. However, you have to be smart enough to know when someone really knows what they’re talking about and when they aren’t.
If a guy tells you any of the following things or has any of these qualities when you ask him for dating advice, you can be sure he’s full of it:
- You haven’t seen him with a woman before.
- He tells you to just be more aggressive.
- He says his way is the only way.
- He gets offended if you question him.
This kind of guy likes to think that he knows everything there is to know about women because it gives him an ego boost. The fact is, he probably knows even less than you.
Beware, he may be steering you in the wrong direction if you aren’t careful. Find someone who is willing to listen, and gives you advice that actually makes sense.
Observe Other People
If you’re too embarrassed to ask for help with your game, just be more observant. Surely there’s a guy in your life who is a natural with women.
If you feel uncomfortable or weird about asking him to mentor you, just hang out with him more. Watch his mannerisms and it’ll be just as useful as if he gave you formal relationship tips.
People are incredibly observant, and you will soak up his attractive qualities, simply by virtue of hanging around him more.
Most guys have it within them to be more attractive, they just don’t know what it looks like. Experiencing it first hand is one of the best ways to get advice on dating.
This also applies to couples that seem to be doing well. If you’re in a relationship that isn’t working but you have hope, see what makes other couples happy.
Try to emulate those things with your own girl. Give it a little time, and don’t be afraid to work on it. Before long you’ll be just as happy as that other couple.
Avoid Cliché Behavior
Every generation has a thing that worked for them. It worked because it was new, but over time these things start to become cliché and predictable.
However, some people may still offer this stuff as advice. Especially people from older generations.
Things, like buying a girl flowers, chocolates or professing your love to her from the street below her apartment, might seem sweet.
The truth is it’s all old, hacky stuff that might have worked once, but definitely doesn’t work anymore. When someone is giving you advice, be sure that it meets the following criteria:
- It’s original.
- It’s based on experience.
- It’s not in any movies.
- The person has used it successfully.
If you can find advice that meets these criteria, you’ll likely be able to put it into practice with greater success. The more lame, boring or predictable someone’s love advice is, the less effective it’ll be.
Learn From Your Relationship Problems
It’s a hard truth for a lot of people to consider, but not all relationships are going to last. Sometimes people just don’t work together and have to split.
It’s not all bad, though. Amid the heartbreak, you can learn a lot. You can learn what it means to be in a relationship and understand what makes you who you are relative to someone else.
So, if things are a little rocky, and you feel like you’re both headed on a path to splitsville, don’t panic. You’ll meet someone new, and you’ll be even more prepared for whatever obstacles come your way.
It’s just like opening groups of girls at bars. Rejection is never something to get upset about. It’s an opportunity to learn how to navigate the next group.
The same goes for relationships. It may be hard at first, but as soon as you can, you can pick yourself up, and apply all of the things you learned to your next relationship.
In a way, breaking up can be a good thing. It can teach you what you want in a person, and make you pickier as you continue your search for a girl you can settle down with. That is, if that’s your thing.
There Is No Perfect Relationship Advice
Asking for help can be useful, but when it’s all said and done your success with women will depend on your experience. You have to make mistakes, fail, and be willing to learn from your errors.
Combined with asking more experienced people for help, you’ll start to be more knowledgeable, successful and less afraid to go out and try new things.
Game and relationships, in general, are a very “learn-by-doing” kind of activity.
In some ways asking people for advice constantly can be a way of avoiding the difficulty of just going out and doing something.
That’s why there is no perfect relationship or set of love tips that is going to turn your situation around. They can help, but ultimately causing a change in yourself and your dating life has to come from within.
So, learn what you can, but start going out more, trying new things, and getting over your fear of failing. Before long, you’ll be crushing it and will be the guy other people are coming to for help.