It’s an interesting phenomenon, and it needs to go away. There’s this notion that it’s perpetually cool to play the field, have a side girl and never get too close to any one woman.
Sure, when you’re single and dating, there’s something smart about doing things that way, and sure, it’s also fun and exciting. I’m not denying it. I’m not recommending against it.
This article isn’t even intended at folks going through a stage like that in their life.
I’m talking about the group of dudes who think that it’s cool to do this sort of thing forever or after they’ve started seeing someone to “keep their options open” or avoid “being tied down.”
Hey fellas, guess what? You’re not cool.
Sure, I get it. As a society, we’ve made the eternal playboy into something admirable. But, that doesn’t mean society is right about this one. In fact, I’m here to tell you that they got it damn wrong.
The real man knows when to commit to one woman. When you have a girlfriend – or even when you’re dating someone you like – juggling seven text conversations with various girls is no longer slick.
In fact, it’s the most deplorable thing a man can be: wishy washy.
Think about it: If a man is anything, he is decisive. It’s one of the most valued traits you can have.
If a man exhibited such wishy washiness over what he was going to order at a restaurant (always steak, by the way) or which one of his friends he was going to call up to watch the game (correct answer is all of them) or which baseball team he roots for (the one you grew up watching, to be clear), then he would be lambasted for his indecisiveness.
And yet with women, the weak, indecisive man gets a free pass and often receives encouragement.
‘Til now. I’m here to say it’s over. I’ve spotted your weakness, your indecisiveness, and I’m here to tell you to be a damn man and start making the tough calls in life. To all of you currently dating a lady, here’s an exercise you need to do ASAP:
1. Check in on whether you’re still seeing or talking to other ladies. (Note that the answers are either yes or no. If you answered “maybe,” then it’s really a yes.)
2. If no, good job.
3. If yes, ask, “Why?”
4. If the answer is “because I don’t like this girl very much,” then stop seeing her. If the answer is “because I’m a wishy washy sack of turtle crap,” then stop seeing those other women. (Note that these are the only two possible answers. Any other answer you may give is really some variation of one of these two.)
Now, I know, I know. You’re thinking, “But James Bond always plays the field, and he’s awesome.” Sure kid, but look at things from his perspective.
First of all, they’re movies, but let’s play this one out for a second: He can die at any moment, so he really doesn’t ever get too emotionally involved with any one woman.
Plus, these ladies keep getting killed all the time or try to kill him, so maybe he’s a little too traumatized to commit to a girlfriend. Danger and death?
We can give 007 gets a free pass for having commitment phobia for his entire life. You with your stable life and general overall safety? Not so much.
Look, at the end of the day, it’s going to take a little time to get used to this kind of thinking. I mean, in a sense, it’s biological.
The human male adapted to mate with several females to create more genetic variety and help advance the species. There may be some truth to that. But guess what?
The real man makes plays, not excuses. Your caveman biology is probably also telling you to beat dudes over the head with a club if they make you angry, but you aren’t going around doing that, are you?
Didn’t think so.