The French refer to an orgasm as “le petit mort,” which translates to “the little death.” It makes sense; after all, orgasms are (for some people) a releasing out of body experience.
For some (read: women), an orgasm can be as elusive and rare as finding a real relationship on Tinder. According to Planned Parenthood statistics, less than one third of women regularly experience orgasm during sex.
That’s a lot of unsatisfied women.
We know you good fellas in TSM community would hate to be the reason a women leaves a sexual encounter with anything less than that just-got-my-world-rocked glow, so we’ve pulled the 4 best tips from Zara Barrie, editor at Elite Daily and self-proclaimed “mascara lesbian,” and Ali Adler, author of How To F*ck A Woman, to help you help her get off.
Good luck out there guys.
Get Her to Relax
The above gif is an example of a terrible way to try and get her to relax.
Check out what Zara Barrie recommends in her awesome article for Elite Daily:
“If you want to calm a girl down (which you do because we’re perpetually teeming with nervous energy), the worst thing you can do is tell her to calm down. Nothing enrages us more.
The way to calm us down is by listening to us and being that nice, calm energy that balances our neuroses out.”
A few ideas of relaxation include playing some music, lighting a few candles, or starting off with a sexy massage.
Make her feel as if she has all the time in the world to get there. If she feels like she needs to hurry up and have an orgasm, well, she might just have it…but it’ll be fake.
Listen to what her body is saying
Sometimes it’s awkward in the moment to say, “Hey, that’s not really doing it for me.” So this is when you need to listen to her body…with your penis as Ali Adler puts it.
“Think of your penis not as a screwdriver, but as a microphone. Yes, we like sex (actually, we love it!).”
Listen for things like shudders, moans that don’t sound like they are coming from a rehearsed porn star, and o-faces that aren’t completely perfect are all signs that she’s really into whatever it is you’re doing.
Oh, and if she explicitly tells you she likes something and to keep going, don’t change it up to try to get more of a reaction out of her. Listen to her.
Don’t recycle the same moves your ex loved
If there’s one thing both Ali and Zara stress in their book and article, it’s that women are unique and have specific preferences! Maybe your ex loved nipple yanking and hot candle wax being poured on her.
That’s cool, to each their own. BUT, that doesn’t mean that every single girl out there is going to love those moves. Sticking to a cookie cutter set of moves and never changing it up to suit each individual girl is just not going to work.
It doesn’t matter how good you are at nipple tweaking or pulling her legs over her head, not every girl will like every move in your arsenal. So, be sure you’re actually paying attention to what your girl likes and doesn’t like.
Sometimes ego gets in the way here, but remember that sex is about both parties enjoyment not just yours.