Dating is nerve-racking. It’s one of those situations where you finally get what you’ve been waiting so long for, and now that you have it, you have no idea what to do.
Making it to the first date is huge. It means you presented yourself as an attractive enough person to the point where she wants to sit down and actually entertain your time — talk about no pressure.
Getting her out was a task in itself, now you’re required to not only sell yourself in person, but you want her to actually feel comfortable.
While there isn’t a golden handbook that gives you a play-by-play on what to do on a date, there are a few techniques that, when applied correctly, can make you and your date feel more comfortable.
They key is making it feel like you two have known each other for a long time. Some individuals can make that spark happen quite naturally, for others it’s a little more tricky.
If you can properly build compliance, respectfully break the physical barrier, create a bond, and or make a storybook moment happen, your date will go from average to extraordinary.
These, by no means, are methods of deception, but rather very practical ways humans become comfortable in rather unsettling situations — like a first date.
There are different strokes for different folks, but these will never hurt to try.
Bird In Hand
This first technique is designed to build compliance and trust.
If you’re on a first date — or if the dating is still in its infancy — you should try a routine Christian Hudson calls the bird in hand.
During some point of the date, you offer your hand as to lead her somewhere. Don’t say anything, just offer your hand. Now, in these situations, one or two things will happen.
She’ll either give you a puzzled look or she’ll instinctively take your hand and follow you.
If she gives you a puzzled look, still refrain from using words. Simply point to your hand as to imply that you want her to grab it.
Here she’ll either reject or take it. Is she doesn’t take it, there is no real loss — it just means that you have to work on her making her more comfortable with you.
If she does, you’re now in a space where you have physical intimacy and a better gauge of how comfortable she is with you.
Now, in this case, you’re going to have to have a destination. You cannot offer your hand to a woman in efforts to lead her somewhere and then walk to the other side of the room or to the restroom.
After dinner and desert, maybe offering to lead her to the next destination, even if that destination is your house.
It’s a great way to test the waters with how the night is going.
Breaking the physical barrier is huge because it dissipates all the built up tension and attraction you two may be feeling.
Athletes talk all the time that, no matter how many years they’ve been in the league or how many games they’ve played, they’re always nervous up until they make their first tackle or see the ball go in for the first time. It’s the same thing on the first date.
Employing the hand massage takes a lot of finesse, it can be a little tricky.
The timing, setting, and atmosphere all play a major role in the execution of a hand massage when you’re with someone you haven’t established that level of rapport with, but when you do, it immediately enhances the night to another level.
The movies, while on a walk, and other intimate moments come down to your judgment call, but if you do and if it’s successful, a simple hand cuddling can bring a closeness that otherwise would take weeks of dating to accomplish.
It may be hard to accept, but we’re probably one of several guys in a woman’s dating pool. especially if she is out ready to mingle.
To set yourself apart you can create a ‘token’ moment which bonds you together.
A token moment is basically an activity that instantly bonds you two together. This can be skydiving, a marathon or anything competitive.
When you take your mind off the date and actually participate in the date it gives you a greater opportunity to make her night special.
A dinner and a movie date places the responsibility of entertaining in the hands of someone else, but when you seek out doing something interactive with her it makes her have a moment she’ll remember forever.
Polaroids, stuffed animals or anything that she can take home with her help conjures this bonding moment, and now she’ll be interested in seeing what you have planned next.
The Movie Moment
This technique takes a lot more planning and incorporates the previous three skills.
The movie moment plays off of the romanticized concept of love that we’re exposed to through pop culture. The goal is to give her this serendipitous moment on the date as if all the stars aligned and the magic was bound to happen.
If you’re on an instant date — a date after meeting someone for the first time– mentioning that “this doesn’t happen often” and that “the odds of you two randomly getting together are so small,” creates that fairytale moment.
Even if the date was premeditated, taking her somewhere scenic, looking her in her eyes and telling her how special you think this moment is, helps create this fairytale setting.
All of these techniques are for you to have a smooth date, but ultimately the success of the evening is in y0ur hands.