80:20 – Little Things that Matter
There are a few things in pickup that are non-negotiable must-haves. Those things are:
– you should be making eye contact 70% of the time you’re talking to someone
– you should only break eye contact to the side, not downwards
– you should be making direct eye contact anytime you give a compliment
– you should be comfortable touching her within 10 seconds of saying hello. Not too much… just a slight touch
– you should be rocking in and out on your back foot – generally, you should come in at a 45 degree angle
– you should be smiling
– your first few sentences should be no more than 10-15 seconds long
– you shouldn’t give explanations or apologies
– you should be speaking to the whole group if it is not a direct compliment
So these are some of the very basic, very important things to do within the first minute of an interaction. They’re subtle, but getting them wrong is going to betray a lack of confidence and deservedness.
Funny thing is, when I’m not “warmed up,” I sometimes mess these up too. So my first conversation of the evening has become what I call a “systems check” conversation.
Geeky? Sure. But it’s just a reminder.
I find a very, very attractive girl, and give her a direct compliment. My goal is not to pick her up, but to force myself to focus on all these little things so that they’re kind of locked into my head for the evening.
I’d say that 80% of the time you get a bad reaction from a girl, its from messing up these fundamentals, so getting them right at the start gets your night off to a good start.
If you’re going out tonight, do a little system check of your own and see how it works for you.